Do You Know You Are White?

First Black

In looking for a way to share my sermon from last weekend, I came across this CNN piece from last February. Although I appreciate the stories shared in The First Time I Realized I Was Black, I struggle with this because the premise of the question puts the onus on black people to recognize their difference.  Once again, people of color are on display doing the work of explaining racism.  Time and again the work against racism reinforces marginalization by assuming the the position of a white gaze.  I can only imagine what white viewers of this CNN piece think, but I know that my reaction was basically, “well duh!”  Why is no one asking white people when they first realized they were white?  I actually have asked this question in workshop settings challenging people (a racially mixed group) to think about and share when they were first aware of their own “race”.  The difference between non-white and white answers was shocking to me and I’m sure it is indicative of the biggest disconnect in racial discourse.  All of the non-white people who grew up in this country shared recollections of coming to this awareness in childhood and very early in life; all of the white people shared coming to this awareness as adults or even fairly recently late in life.  This means that at least in that particular situation, the non-white people were formed in part by their identity as the “other” while the white people reached adulthood without any sense of being placed as an outsider because of their race.

So, last weekend, as part of our commitment to the Unitarian Universalist series of White Supremacy Teach Ins,  I gave a sermon, Weaving Our Stories that challenges the premise of the CNN piece by asking where do people who identify as bi-racial, multi-racial and mixed race fit in the work and conversations to de-center whiteness and end white supremacy?  How do we do this work without asking someone to make a choice between their identities, or worse casting one as good and the other as bad?  How do we not fall into the racist paradigm of the “one drop rule” that shaped segregation in this country and still reverberates in our language, our attitudes and our economics of race and that frankly fuels the relevance of the CNN piece?  I think part of the answer is built into the complex psychology that motivates anyone’s need to answer the question of “the first time I realized I was [non-white]”  But real solutions to our struggles of race can only happen when white people are also willing to answer the question “do you actually know you are white?”

– ALD

Mistaken Wisdom

Sermon Delivered at First Parish Cambridge, Unitarian Universalist, November 5, 2017*

I bought a Garmin GPS watch this week in an effort to kick start my fitness regimen which has been sidelined by seminary and moving and internship since about 2014.  Its fun.  Olive hates the beep it makes.  I like the fact that it counts my steps and also receives my text messages.  While I was shopping for this, I was brought back to my days as a fitness instructor when the big thing was to have a heartrate monitor built into your watch.  Things have come a long way.

I see a lot of people with FitBits and other devices, reminding them to walk…or reminding them that they have a pulse.  Sometimes I wonder if this is the closest that many people come to actually thinking about their bodies. Technology has become a not so thin veil between us and our experiences. Our devices respond to our voices, our touch, even our body temperature.  Artificial intelligence is becoming less and less artificial and more and more supplementary each day.  But today, I would like to make a case for us to get back to basics so to speak…

So, I have every intention of going a bit off the rails today.  When I say that, it is not to indicate that I’m going to stand on top of the pulpit and crow like a rooster…although, I’d love to see what that feels like.  Rather, I’m going to speak to you in a way that ministers in Unitarian Universalism rarely if ever speak; with demands and an undercurrent of ultimatum…a bit fire and brimstone.  But this is important; the future of our movement and possibly the world as we know it depends on leaders like myself stepping up our game and pushing the boundaries much, much further.  But no matter how uncomfortable or confusing it may be at first to receive, my hope is that you ultimately feel my push as the gesture of love that it is intended to be and not as a selfish directive.  What I say today may also sound like scolding, but it is not. It is intended as a wakeup call to us all.

And with that, we begin…

Mosaic Makers

I love Unitarian Universalism, but Unitarian Universalism isn’t working.  Well, it may be working for a few people, but it is not working in the grand and lofty way that we certainly speak of it.  Indeed, Unitarian Universalism may be working for certain individual and self-focused purposes, but what we’re doing here just doesn’t want to take hold in the wider world.  We have not succeeded in moving the dial in terms of ending gun violence, Nazism, violence against women or racism; we’re even moving backward on abortion rights and healthcare in general.  Our efforts to build the Beloved Community are failing.  Sometimes I wonder if it is because we are much better at building the Beloved Social Club.  We do great at self-improvement among the people we know, but on the whole, we have not cultivated the tools or even the interest in changing hearts and minds beyond our immediate sphere. Even though we may feel good about our contributions to amplifying awareness of the distress of those who are marginalized and placing ourselves into the work on the ground to change individual lives, the Dakota Access pipeline is brimming with oil even as we speak and the Klan is still legal. This is not what I call success.

I love Unitarian Universalism, but Unitarian Universalism isn’t working.

We have the highest ideals.  Inspired by some of the greatest hearts and minds.  Among those hearts and minds is of course Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. We are nobly motivated by aspirations such as this quote put forth by the King Center:

Dr. King’s Beloved Community is a global vision in which all people can share in the wealth of the earth. In the Beloved Community, poverty, hunger and homelessness will not be tolerated because international standards of human decency will not allow it. Racism and all forms of discrimination, bigotry and prejudice will be replaced by an all-inclusive spirit of sisterhood and brotherhood. [1]

And we can even point to more of MLK’s scholarship to describe the lofty philosophical underpinnings of his beloved community as an expression of Agape.  He said in his March 7, 1961 Detroit sermon:

“Agape is more than romantic love. Agape is more than friendship. Agape is understanding, redemptive goodwill for all men. Agape is an overflowing love, a spontaneous love, which seeks nothing in return.”[2]

Sounds great!  So, where are the droves of marginalized people flocking to our doors?  I have yet to hear anyone within Unitarian Universalism tell me why anyone outside of Unitarian Universalism should come to us for this message.  We are spectacular at telling everyone what we want as individuals and standing up for our personal sense of right and wrong and making sure that personal agency is at the center of everything we do and say.  But tell me, how is that Beloved Community and not simply the Beloved Self?

Last week, I had the incredible fortune to travel to San Diego for the Mosaic Makers conference.  It was wonderful.  I was there with Alex Taylor, Rashid Shaikh, Susan Leslie and Bruce Pritchard all of whom I think got a great deal out of the experience.  I was so incredibly grateful for their presence and excited for them to see that place, First UU San Diego, that was so instrumental to my formation.  It was certainly one of the most diverse UU settings I’ve seen outside of Finding Our Way Home (the UU gathering for professionals of color.)  From the perspective of a trip that shows what anti-racism and multi-culturalism can look like, it was a huge success.

The weekend presented many examples where we completely de-centered whiteness: a Día de Muertos service that was entirely Latina led in Spanish and English where Spanish was the dominant language and sometimes not translated.  Two black scholars leading very different talks.  Dr. Takiyah Nur Amin speaking about Black Lives of Unitarian Universalism and explaining its purpose as an incubator for cultivating black affirmation, support and retention of African American UUs; Dr. Mark Hicks challenging the conference attendees to explore how white supremacy shows up in language and action.  Rev. Mitra Rahnema sharing her intentions as the editor of the book Centering and making it clear that she wrote the book for people of color as a resource while inviting white UUs to read the book with this in mind and learn from looking through this window and Chris Crass offering an impassioned plea to stay in the work of cultivating multi-culturalism despite our sometimes problematic personal histories.

As a leader, Mosaic Makers was exactly what I needed in many ways.  Still, on the last day when I was there for a separate professional day of reflection where we caucused as POC identified and white identified, I found myself wondering about the distinctly separate Unitarian Universalisms that each of us cultivates and that grow among those of similar social locations.  The dominant one that supports the experiences and needs and expressions of European Americans, another one that speaks to African Americans… another that resonates with Indian Americans…one that lets women see themselves…and another that works for people who identify as Trans*.

On one level, having a “faith” that is this malleable seems ideal.  But looking a bit closer and in particular looking to where the rifts and cracks actually exist in our “beloved community”, and in examining the very real inabilities to communicate, the dysfunctions, the ongoing inequities and our sometimes defiant resistance to appeal to a broader spectrum of populations, what we have created is a loose gathering of people who have no real reason or explanation as to why they should want to be in community together other than working toward a concept of “beloved community” that sometimes looks like rabid individualism when you hold a mirror up to it.

No, and it pains me to say it again, Unitarian Universalism isn’t working.

Anti-Slavery, 1854

Let’s take a journey back in time…

In 1854, Anthony Burns was arrested. Anthony Burns was black.  Anthony Burns was an escaped slave.  He was arrested here in Massachusetts because the legislature supported enforcing the Fugitive Slave Act.  Judge Edward Loring presided over the case and handed down the judgement that Burns should be returned as “property.”  As I research the history of slavery in this state, I am learning that the “official records” most likely don’t correlate with the realities of the ongoing presence of slaves and certainly the mentality that actively ignored if not supported the continuation of slavery in the south.

Thankfully though people like William Lloyd Garrison among other abolitionists and Unitarians were outraged.  That year, he was part of a July 4 anti-slavery rally held in Framingham at a place called Harmony Grove.  At the gathering there were addresses by Lucy Stone, Wendell Phillips, Henry David Thoreau, Sojourner Truth and of course Garrison.  Garrison made a powerful case explaining the breadth and potential reach of slavery.  The MA historical society website says that Garrison warned that:

Slavery and its minions jeopardized freedom everywhere and its advocates, […], intended to tighten their grasp over the Caribbean, expand into Central and South America, and even extend the cursed institution into the Pacific. Freedom was disappearing. What could there be to celebrate on July 4? he asked.

The website goes on to describe the dramatic climax of Garrison’s address…

Garrison then produced a copy of the 1850 Fugitive Slave Law and put a match to it. Amid cries of “Amen” the hated document burned to a cinder. Then he produced copies of Judge Edward G. Loring’s decision to send Anthony Burns back to slavery …As Martin Luther had burned copies of canon law and the papal bull excommunicating him from the Catholic Church for heresy, Garrison consigned [this] to the flames. [Finally] Holding up a copy of the U.S. Constitution, he branded it as “the source and parent of all the other atrocities–‘a covenant with death, and an agreement with hell.'” As the nation’s founding document burned to ashes, he cried out: “So perish all compromises with tyranny!” [3]

Clearly, White House Chief of Staff, General Kelly could learn a thing or two about “compromise” from reading this.

Garrison’s act of burning the Constitution was extreme.  Many would regard this as an act of treason…even today.  But let me present it to you this way.  We are very accustomed in UU circles to speaking of “racial justice work”.  Yet in my world as an African American, “racial justice” isn’t something that I can pick up and put down.  It doesn’t sit outside of me for me to look at…it IS me.  It is not “racial justice”, it is my life.  Any document that legitimized the basis for me being regarded as a lesser being should be burned.  “So perish all compromises with tyranny.” Garrison, a Unitarian, was not afraid of radical change.  In this moment, we are called to the same, both outside of our doors and within.

1945…could be today

Fast forward 90 years…

Holding up a copy of the U.S. Constitution, he branded it as “the source and parent of all the other atrocities–‘a covenant with death, and an agreement with hell.'” As the nation’s founding document burned to ashes, he cried out: “So perish all compromises with tyranny!”

Unitarian Minister, Peter Samsom referenced the words of Elmo Roper of Fortune Magazine in his May 27, 1945 sermon “If I Were a Negro” saying that  “…racial and religious prejudices are rising to the point where a revival of Ku Klux Klanism threatens the nation.  Feeling against Negroes, Jews, and Catholics is increasing and we face one of the most explosive situations of our entire history.”

Samsom’s words could have been written last week.  He continues:

“[Roper] concluded his statement by pointing the way out.  As he saw it: “give people something constructive to do and they will not have time to hate each other.” There is good sense in both his warning and his solution.  We know from our own experience that race feeling is growing more serious, that tension is increasing, and that violent things are being said, thought and done.  There is no purpose in shielding ourselves from the knowledge that we are in a situation that calls for our best thinking, our sanest vision, and the most courageous cooperation among our whole people.  “Give people something to do…”—here is a suggestion with sound psychology behind it, a suggestion we may interpret quite broadly to include tasks of the imagination as well as of the hand.” [4]

Give people something to do.  How novel.  I do believe that’s what is missing for us Unitarian Universalists today.  We don’t have anything to do.  I’m not talking about marching or volunteering or calling legislators.  I mean we don’t have anything to do in here.  We have nothing that binds us or belongs to us unquestionably without privilege or bias or exclusion, a situation which begs the question over and over again, what is our faith? What is the concrete place where we meet one another stripped of social dictates of superiority and dominance or marginalization and oppression? Too often, our culture of individualism our philosophical hubris won’t let us put down the “I” to see the “we” and that, my friends, is what is sending me off the rails.

Invitation to Embodiment

“Give people something to do”

You know what? I think we do have something we can unite around…something we all can do.

Embodiment.

Before you voted to call me as your minister, you asked about my theology.  I said I would tell you more.  Well, here it comes…

Turning justice work into religion is not enough to build the beloved community.  Gathering with people who come from the same social set and demographic is not enough to build the beloved community.  Singing Christian songs without the word God or Jesus is not enough to build the beloved community. Creating separate and affirming spaces and affinity groups for marginalized identities is not enough to build the beloved community.  You know why, because after we do our individual and important separate things, we must come back together and that’s what’s missing in what is currently espoused as Unitarian Universalism.  Just because our larger organization is set up as an association of congregations, doesn’t mean that loose association is a successful, model for girding a fragile world against the catastrophic forces of human kind on a large scale.  There has got to be more.

My theology is embodiment.  That is, at the core of everything I do and everything I see, every interaction I have, I place the fact that we are in human bodies.  We all share the experience of life through being embodied.  Why can’t we just start there and say that.  We all share the fact that we were born and that we will die.  We all have minds that allow us to think and we all experience something called time.  We are all capable of action of some kind in the world and we all experience being in the context of planet earth.  Every single human being has some experience with the concept of what we call love.  Birth, Death, Thought, Time, Action, Earth, Love…to me, these are embodiment; this is my theology and this is what keeps me in the game.

There are great minds at work in Unitarian Universalism.  I am thrilled that there are more people talking about spiritual practice and ways to ritualize our shared feelings.  And yes, I have also heard more people talking about bodies.  But it is not just about individual bodies, it is about the fact that we are embodied.  My challenge to you, my invitation to you is to not fall into the trap of relegating what I say about embodiment to a “thing” that resonates with only a few of us.  Thinking about our bodies shouldn’t only happen when someone tells us to place our feet on the ground and “breathe in…breathe out.”  Our bodies can’t be put into a task force or a committee.  Like “racial justice” is my life, the fact that we are embodied is quite literally all of our lives and even if you don’t want to think about your body or deal with it, the fact that you are embodied is definitely going to deal with you.

Imagine a Unitarian Universalism that works to cultivate new ways of putting birth and death in context with one another, in the unique world that we live in today?  Every ancient spiritual tradition has always done this for a reason.  Sure, we can cherry pick from the greats, but that doesn’t bring us any closer together.  What could a language of birth and death that transcends our individual stories, that is conscious of the impact of digital life and life in a post-Holocaust world look and feel like?  I challenge us to find out.  What could a spiritual practice of embracing our ability to think mean as we embrace the broad spectrum of cognitive capabilities that science continues to allow us to understand?  Rather than basing our relationship with different mental perceptions on a narrow baseline, we should be able to embrace the whole spectrum and even more.  What if we let the beautiful spheres of science and spirit we cultivate play together…unsupervised?  Who knows what offspring they would produce.  I say, let’s challenge Unitarian Universalism to throw away its colonial, patriarchal, white-centered shackles and find out.

For too many of us the experience of body shaming came from our birth religions.  We were told that our physical desires were sin, we were told that our bodies needed to be used for one purpose…all kinds of things, so we got out.  Even for lifelong UUs including those in the post-OWL world, they were given a great premise for pride and security in the body, but no follow up on Sunday morning, or in any aspect of how we actually come together as Unitarian Universalists.  Our ideas and more importantly our intentional spiritual commitment to how we are embodied is incomplete.  Dis-embodiment is a hold-over of Puritan roots that may be quaint but is ill suited to our functional needs today. What I’m proposing is that in the search for something to propel us to the center of making real and lasting change in this world and in the search for something that people everywhere are trying desperately understand amidst the noise of extremism, technology and greed, we can answer this call by lifting up the shared glory of what it means to simply exist in human bodies that are both completely separate and one.

Embodiment.

I cannot be satisfied with Seven Principles or Six Sources or a Unitarian Universalism that isn’t willing to grow and evolve into a global spiritual tidal wave.

The title of this message is Mistaken Wisdom.  The title comes from Thoreau who spent a lifetime troubling the space between knowledge of nature and knowledge of the self.  How do we know what we know? He literally explored what it means to see the forest for the trees…and vise versa.  The nature of knowledge is a basic question of Transcendentalism and one that still resonates in UUism today, even in our Seven Principles.  But the Seven Principles and the Six Sources are also swimming in Euro-centric priorities and assumptions; the knowing is skewed to one perspective, because that is the context in which they were created and the population they were devised to serve.  How can one affirm inherent worth and dignity when your personal inherent worth and dignity is always systemically denied? How can you sit at the table if you can’t get in the room?  Our vision must expand so that every identity meets as an equal in the middle.  Therefore, we must be willing to consider how even the sacred Seven principles have been complicit and reflective of the systems we are trying to dismantle and willing if necessary to consign them to the flames of history.  “So perish all compromises with tyranny.”

I cannot be satisfied with Seven Principles or Six Sources or a Unitarian Universalism that isn’t willing to grow and evolve into a global spiritual tidal wave.  The ideas and the openness and the empowerment are all here, we just need something to do.  I say that we have an endless sacred text of learning and wonder and affirmation literally at our finger tips…our bodies.  Each chapter is written in the unique ink of our blood and the pages turn each time we exhale.  Let us escape from a stifled history and feel the cool breeze of the future.  Learning to be present with our embodiment can take us there.  Your beautiful, individual, unique, body is more than a heart rate, or steps, or text messages or any app.  Your body is a chapter in the human adventure of embodiment; it is your greatest gift to receive and your greatest gift to give.

A Prayer of Embodiment

May your birth continue to bless this world throughout your life
May your death whenever it comes, be completion of the cycle and not just loss
May your ability to think equally invite comprehension and question
May you and time move as companions, not adversaries
May your actions reflect your authenticity in this world
May your presence on this earth be both gentle and strong
May you always know love in everything you are.
May you always know your own embodiment as a blessing.

*This sermon was delivered before news of the mass shooting in Texas had broken.

[1] – http://www.thekingcenter.org/king-philosophy

[2] – https://kinginstitute.stanford.edu/king-papers/documents/loving-your-enemies-sermon-delivered-detroit-council-churches-noon-lenten

[3] – https://www.masshist.org/database/431

[4] – Archive of First Unitarian Universalist Church San Diego, Courtesy Betty Boone

Pocket Rocket

“A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed” – The Second Amendment of the United States Constitution

These words were written by a group of angry and frightened men in 1791 to enshrine in law their right to protect themselves from perceived tyranny by using lethal force.  Today, every time we face another societal wave of grief over the senseless loss of life due to the easy access people have to guns in the United States, it reverberates in my ear:

“A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state…”

In these words, freedom and violence were linked as a consequential pair and presented as an ethical norm.  What is more, when they were written, these words codified a right exclusive to white men with financial means [1].  The Second Amendment was literally a declaration of rights to justify white masculinized violence.  Today, the NRA lobbies the government every day for guns that are bigger, more powerful, higher volume, longer range, and they use the Second Amendment as a protective defense for a macho gun culture that would be adolescent if it weren’t so deeply tragic.

It is hard to tell which might have come first: the projection of virility issues on firearms or firearms projecting virility issues on how men in the United States see their embodiment.  I do know however, that the combination of guns and ideas about how maleness is embodied has left us swimming in a lethal brew that easily conflates male potency with violence.  One look at the number of women (and men) who corroborate stories of rampant male sexual assault (the United States ranks among the highest numbers of rape per capita in the world [2]) alongside the epidemic of gun-based terrorism in this country and it is difficult not to consider a connection.

One problem is that men in the US don’t talk about their penises, something I’ve learned from my own experience growing up in a male identified body with biologically male genitalia. As an adult, I’ve taught sexuality education to youth and studied the impact of sexuality on faith and politics, and it is clear that boys are given a specific rhetoric of shame about their genitals that is tragically entwined with ideas about power.  There is little to no counter narrative to this message and the result is that the shame carves a space for defensiveness and self-styled myths about what is sexually right and wrong.  So, despite men handling them several times a day for a variety of reasons including function and fun, penises are rarely spoken about, never truly understood and most often the subject of performative mockery.  Everything from the casual crotch grab to eating a phallus-ized banana becomes part of the act.  We can joke about penises (thanks a lot Amy Schumer), but we can’t actually discuss them and what they are capable of both positive and negative. Despite being external organs, the profound mystery of the penis is more pervasive than we are willing to culturally admit and undoubtedly more dangerous than we realize.

Negative penis/masculinity narratives are prolific.  Nowhere is this more apparent than in the grossly racialized stereotypes of male sexuality in the United States. In these pathetic exercises, black boys are burdened with the assumption of over-sized and threatening ‘Mandingo’ status; Latino men are a disposable ‘walk on the wild-side’; Asian boys are entirely de-masculinized and relegated to a sexual scrap heap, and so on. Meanwhile, all of this unfolds in the shadow of white masculinity as the definitive shining American cultural norm.  Yet when white masculinity is directly linked to violence we are trained to socially accept, endorse or excuse it as “boys being boys” and never, ever allowed to call it terrorism…although it most definitely is.  Personally damaging, false and impossible to realize just like the black stereotype, the white heroic myth of masculinity, becomes the idealized standard of every savior image projected in the US, and is a cornerstone of how we expect to see figures of authority including our modern day “well regulated militia”, the police.  If you consider all of these gendered, sexualized and racialized cultural elements together, the acquittal of white officers for killing unarmed black men and the labeling of non-white terrorists as “animals” takes on an entirely new significance.

For me, fixing the Second Amendment, isn’t just about guns.  It is about de-commissioning the tools that prop up toxic male embodiment and the excuses that enable an almost exclusively white male entitlement to violence.  Gun violence, sexual violence, economic violence, environmental violence are all parts of a culture, fed by a racialized capitalism that cultivates a male embodiment whose only purpose is to dominate and take without being questioned; to relentlessly penetrate everything it encounters with fear and intimidation.

The project of American manhood swinging between rape fantasy porn and a constitutional entitlement to hold the power of life and death in one’s right hand, has made us “dick dumb.”  In this increasingly winners versus losers society, we don’t talk about penises and because we allow ignorance to feed our unspoken fears, too many men are empowered to wantonly misuse their penises and the cultural leverage that is associated with having them regardless of racial or ethnic identity.  Our legal system underscores the misconception that we must live in a world where the only route toward security and freedom is through violence and the penis becomes every man’s most handy surrogate weapon of defense always locked and loaded.

But our government has no tyrant king and does not represent the voice of only one race or class of people.  We are not colonial oppressors trying to fend off slave revolts or Indian uprisings.  Our states no longer require private militia and all aspects of our law enforcement and armed forces are no longer entirely male.  We do not live in a society of duels and honor killings and we are finally willing to recognize that a marriage vow doesn’t include consent to assault.  Gender statistics on mass shootings are a clear indication that gun violence in the United States is a male problem…just like rape. If we are to find an antidote to all toxic masculinity, we need to begin by de-weaponizing male embodiment.  This means the careful dismantling of all the language and social structures that equate the power of masculinity and the penis with lethal force.

We will never fix the fatal flaw of the Second Amendment until we disband the not-so-well-regulated militia in men’s pants.

Cut

Every cry from a child is hunger.
Not just for a hole in the belly,
but for emptiness, lack or abandonment.
Hunger names what we feel
as uncomfortable or raw.
There is hunger for being held…being loved,
and hunger for just being paid attention to.

Every hunger has a sound.
The hunger of pain,
when emptiness is left by safety
stolen from our bodies…
a spank, a fall, a needle,
all the unfamiliar sensations leaving holes in
a newborn sense of world
where there was no abandonment
no stings or burns,
only fullness…safe and alive.

The cry of circumcision is hunger.
A full-throated mortal terror
of being torn
for religion, society, medicine
“for your own good”…for good.
Every male who is cut
carries the phantom ache of this hunger
in sensations he will never know.
The scar he handles is a reminder
of the trade that was made with his flesh:
trust in the world, for someone else’s “div-anity”.

You, cut male child
are told to fill your role.
Penetrate the world with your most wounded self
Through deeds, seeds, desires, passions.
Do as you are told, ignore your basic hunger.
While every day longing for fullness, rarely feeling safe,
forever unable to recall being wholly functional or alive.